What happens when you accidentally stab yourself with a screwdriver in the finger? For most ppl, it would be, put pressure on it, gently clean, treat an antibiotic ointment and a band aid.
But when you’re a mom, it’s not nearly as simple. First, you track blood in from one room to another, looking for the roll of paper towel. You know it’s somewhere, but can’t remember which room had the most recent spill. Then you find it with the barbies. One is sitting on top, while another is sleeping cozy under a “double quilted” bedspread. You very rudely wake Barbie up from her slumber to stop the bleeding. Now the bleeding is contained and you can carry on to the next task. The bandaid.
At this point the kids notice and keep asking what happened. Now, the pain is pretty extreme. So out of fear of only profanity escaping your mouth, you mumble out a very eloquent “mmffnnppff” Your significant other now arrives, “Are you OK??” He asks. And you blurt out, “NO I’M NOT!” The guilt of yelling at your love hits you briefly, but then becomes overcome by the pain. So he backs off and leaves you to your chaos. Mental note, apologize for that later.
Keeping calm, you hold your now wrapped finger above your head. And start the search for bandaid. In a house with three children, this task is more impossible than finding the holy grail or the fountain of youth. On your quest, you notice that hairbrush you was looking for, about 14 hair ties, your daughters sandle that was lost, the cat’s toy mouse, and every other lost thing you’ve been looking for. You mental note where those things are, and carry on with your search, knowing that mental note will most likely be erased in the near future.
As a last resort, you just pull everything from the back of the cupboard forward. Forgetting you sliced your finger, you go to grab some random objects, and start the bleeding process over again. You contemplate releasing your hulk self, and ripping out the entire cupboard, but contain yourself. Then. Victory. There it is. A 1/2 opened red crayon bandaid, stuck to the bottom of the shelf. You snatch it up, and do a one handed open. As you try to fasten it it the tip of your finger, it catches on itself, leaving one side unsticky and bunched. Refusing defeat, you just pull the other side even tighter over the crinkled side. You did it! Sweet satisfaction in your victorious adventure is interrupted the moment you realize you forgot the antibiotic ointment. You look at the frazzled looking red crayon, sloppily wrapped around your finger and wonder if you can stick the tip of the ointment in without disturbing your attempt at attaching this lone bandaid. Throwing caution to the wind, you say eff it! And breathe.
This all happens in about 1 1/2 mins.
*you can also substitute a duct taped/scotch taped paper towel bandaid if your attempt for finding a bandaid is in vain.
thatbethy 