Tag: apocalypse

We don’t talk about money. Be poor privately please.

Why are the poor poor? Not how did they become poor, but why are they still poor. Have you ever ask yourself that? If you are, or have been, you know why.

Based on the posts I see on social media, the reason is, because that person is either: lazy, entitled, or makes poor choices. Are there lazy and entitled people? Sure there are. But I guarantee 99% of poor people work 10 times as hard as a financially stable person. Their life depends on it. And there are a lot of people that make poor choices, I being one of them. But unless your poor choice is gambling away your family savings or working for the mob, most poor people’s bad choices are buying a pair of jeans or going out for drinks. Not quite what I would consider worthy of a lifetime struggle to provide for your family.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I’m a poor person trying very hard to obtain what others tell me I could get if I just worked harder. I’m trying reach that goal you told me I’m not entitled to, that I have to work for. What is that goal? To have a place to live of my own and to be able to feed my children and pay my bills without worry or anxiety.

I receive SNAP. Because I’m below the poverty line. Does that make you uncomfortable? If you don’t know me I’m sure it doesn’t. If you know me personally I’m sure you feel quite uncomfortable knowing that about me. I once had a family member harass me on a Facebook post. He was convinced that the reason I am struggling HAS TO BE because I deserve it. I’m an entitled millennial who wants everything handed to me. I deleted him off my Facebook and had myself a good cry. Where has he been the last 10 years? I am not a quiet person. I do not bottle things inside. I am very honest and open about the good and the bad in my life. Why is my struggle making him so angry? It’s my struggle. I’m not angry. I love sharing my struggle so that others can know and feel hopeful. He was legitimately angry. Zero compassion.

Then someone said something to me that put it in perspective. “Of course he is angry. And of course he is blaming you. Because if he admits you’ve done everything you were supposed to and you are a good person, and are still suffering, then he would have to also admit that he stood by as you suffered for years and never offered you a hand of help.”

Holy crap. I used to always wonder why we didn’t talk about money. From a young age it was instilled in me that you never ask how much someone makes. And you don’t talk about how much you make. I remember asking, why we can’t talk about it. I was told it was because people that don’t make as much might get jealous and angry. It was to protect those who deserve their income from people who didn’t deserve it and wanted it.

Poor people don’t care if you know how much they make. I’ve had perfect strangers mention how much their check was in casual conversation. Poor people are not uncomfortable with talking about money. Whatevs. I’m broke but I needed some Chipotle. See, every single thing we do revolves around money. Like, if I buy the good toilet paper, will I have the gas to get my kids to school? Which bill can I be late on so I can replace my kids ripped school pants? We’re not handling our money with our sights set on vacation spots or the best investments. We’re trying to find a way to make sure we don’t have to eat peanut butter and jelly or cereal for dinner for the next week.

You know what would save me a lot of money? Being able to buy a house. My entire life has been at a standstill for the last year because the house I live in is unlivable. If I move my rent will be double to triple what it is now. It is not possible.

Poor people can’t buy houses. Not because they can’t afford them. Because the system is set up in a way to keep them poor.

I do not have a great credit score. To even have a chance at obtaining a mortgage I need 10% down. So let’s say I work for that goal. The houses in my area that I would be ideal for my family are about $150,000. But I don’t need ideal. I’m sure if I looked around and waited I could find something that makes do for about $100,000. So I need $10,000 to buy a house. With my current income I know I could save $100 a month. So that means in 8 years I could buy a house. If I lived extra poor I could probably save $200 a month. Then I could buy a house in 4 years. Do you see the problem? That means I still have to live in this shithole house with my four children until they are raised.

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that I can save $500 a month. That’s only a year and a half. Buuuuuut. I receive Food Stamps. About $500 a month. And the second my assets exceed $2,250, I do not qualify anymore. So 5 months in, I wouldn’t be able to afford to save anymore. (2 years into my 8, 1 year onto my 4).

Why are the poor poor? Because unless someone steps in and knocks down the societal hurdles, we don’t have a choice. Why do poor people buy lottery tickets? Because there’s a better chance of winning the money to help pull them out of poverty than there is to do it by hard work. Why do the poor buy cups of coffee and get tattoos instead of saving? Because what’s the point? Do you have any idea how helpless that feeling is? Then you feel guilty and ashamed when judgmental eyes look at your $50 tattoo and tell you that THAT is the reason you and your children deserve to suffer. You feel like you need to justify the $10 Goodwill Coach purse you carry because others see it and believe you’re exaggerating your circumstance. You’re either lying, or deserve it.

The rich want to believe that the poor are poor because they deserve it. Because if they acknowledged what it really is, they also have to admit that they’re okay with thriving while others are unfairly suffering. And that makes them uncomfortable. So it’s easier to just blame.

I am poor. My kids play sports, go to a private school, have new clothes and shoes at the beginning of the school year, and none of it was provided by me. Because I have people in my life that saw the value of my children and said, “I want to help”. My eyes swell up with tears when I think about what I would do if I didn’t have kind people in my life. Because I know you’re out there. All you that are suffering without a support system. I want to help you so bad. I want somebody to help you. I feel your pain, I feel your anxiety. I am so sorry we live in a country where you are demonized and told you deserve to suffer. You do not deserve to suffer. Your kids do not deserve to suffer. You deserve so mich better than this.

Why are the poor poor? If you are not poor, you need to be okay with being uncomfortable and do something. You need to stop blaming and start asking how you can help. Perpetual poverty happens when you can’t afford the necessities. Do you feel the Necessities in life a privilege or a right? Do you believe that someone’s financial circumstance equates their worth? Your complacency is hurting people.

Zombies, Desert Island, or Meteorite. They’re all the Same.

The other day, my 9 year old asked me why adults like end of the world movies. I don’t remember what brought this up, but she pointed out how a lot of shows and movies grown ups watch are about surviving the end of the world. So I started thinking of shows, movies, books, etc., that I enjoy watching. The Walking Dead, A Friend for the End of the World, The Book of Eli….the list goes on.

So I told her, “Well, when you lose everything, and the world as you know it disappears, you are brought back to your human nature. When there is no standard of style, pressure of socially acceptable conversation, or motivation to move ‘up’ to one job or another, our real selves come out. Are we a leader? A follower? Would you harm others? Or protect? Watching these shows open our imaginations to what we would do if it happened to us.”

Then, my fiancé and I had a conversation while listening to Ween. We were talking about Super Ego, Ego, and Id. The internal balance we all maintain. Through our entire lives we question this internal struggle. It’s the whole nature versus nurture debate. Ryan compared it to the cartoons with the devil on one shoulder, and the angel on the other.

With this vision of walking around with good and evil riding on my shoulders, I realized how our civilization views Id and the Super Ego. We have painted our natural instinct into a little devil, as if to suggest we must fight it or else we become evil. We learn and teach self control over our impulses to be able to function with others. In our society, we do go against a lot of our base instincts. Our ego is what separates us from animals. Having reason keeps us balanced. Yet, humans are self preserving. When the direct threat of harm or death is gone, we strive for something more. We protect the weak. We set up rules for life. Laws, consequences, and etiquette form on small and large levels. With our basic needs met, we spend our time micro-managing and obsessing about insignificant details. We start leaning toward the Super Ego, vilifying the Id portion of our psyche.

Now, my A.D.D. took over at this point, and I started to think about offensive things. Not actual things that are offensive, but the concept of being offended. How silly is it to take offense to anything? The Id part of us wouldn’t give it a thought. I imagine a caveman. Leaving to hunt, and his wife comes out crying because the cave woman next door “ughed” at her meanly. Hahaha.

Which brings me to pride (hope your enjoying this jolt filled ride through Beth’s mind). I do believe pride is instinctual. Even animals are competitive and assert themselves as the dominant male, or the most sought after female. So when someone gets their pride broken, they feel anger, embarrassment, frustration, and jealousy. If someone belittles something you have pride in, you feel a sense of violation. Having someone violate or insult your pride is a lot more of a base, instinctual feeling. Being offended, to me, is surface deep. A penguin will not get offended another waddling by collecting stones a different way, but will fight and defend is own and see his stones as a personal reflection on who he is as a penguin (if he could reason that thought out. Haha)

There are so many things I believe we have developed to fulfil our overly suppressed Id side. Being offended was created by us. Our nature needs to feel pride and motivation. We have set ourselves up in such a way, we are stagnant and live monotonous lives. So we create insignificant problems. We find things that offend us, that really have no matter in the grand scheme of who we are. Our efforts are focused on things that are shallow or materialistic. We find socially acceptable ways to be impulsive with our wants or feelings. We believe that catering to our Super Ego is somehow superior to our base level Id. The problem is, when you swing too far to either side of the spectrum, the other part will come out in in other ways. Because like it or not, they are both part of us.

To come full circle, that’s why we enjoy reading Lord of the Flies, or watch Lost. We want to imagine a life without bullshit. Where nothing offends, but we fight for our pride and survival. A world where the angel and devil on our shoulders are redefining right a wrong based on self preservation, not socially acceptable expectations. We get to see ourselves in the rawest form that way. Would be thrive in a survivalist world? Or cling to the idea order and being civilized? How would superiority be shown? In our current world, the successful are, most the time, obvious to the rest of us. Properly dressed, perfect manners, and have a presence that demands respect. So what would be the cue for us to know our alphas? We know deep down we came from uncivilized to overly civilized. To imagine our lives redefined and being able to escape this world of rules and expectations to one of survival, let’s us experience the Id portion of ourselves. It’s fun 🙂