Tag: food

Some people are more equal than others.

Ideas are like seeds being planted in your mind. We don’t always have control of the seeds that are throw to us, but we do have control of the soil. In this way, we get to decide how our garden will grow. Manicured and simple. Full of poison and thorns. Wild and unknown. A labyrinth. Filled with food. We decide based on what we pull out and what we nurture. How much effort we’re willing to put in and the people we put ourselves around, who are throwing seeds. How acidic the soil is, and what trees we have growing from the past. Try as you might, the soil below a large pine will not allow you to grow certain plants below it.

A couple weeks ago I saw a post on Facebook. My Facebook is pretty diverse when it comes to religion, politics, and life choices. So very often I see things I don’t agree with. So that was no surprise. What has surprised me is how much I keep thinking about it. See, I have been spending a lot of time lately pulling weeds. Uprooting trees. I have been working on my soil to help things grow. That seed that was planted? That seed has been thrown on my soil before. But it dried up. So when I saw it thrown my direction again, I anticipated the same result. But my soil isn’t the same. My soil is rich with nutrients. And that seed took root and is growing. So now I’m forced to acknowledge this plant growing. I have to decide whether to pull it up or water it.

“We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living….” Buckminster Fuller

The post I read was the full quote. But within the first sentence I knew I disagreed. I’m a hard worker, and I was raised to take pride in my work. You don’t work you don’t eat. The story of The Ant and the Grasshopper made a brief appearance in my mind. You cannot live your life playing and then expect those working to support you. Teaching a man to fish verses giving him a fish.

“We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery. Because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist.”

Justify his right to exist? I wouldn’t go that far. And we may invent some jobs, but I would say we Americans spend more time creating more “all ready invented” jobs. During our last election this was a huge thing. With the worry of unemployment and layoffs, I heard a LOT of people talking about job creation. There aren’t enough jobs and people need to work to support their families.

I also thought about work ethic. Working a less-than-desirable job definitely gives you appreciation for hard work and a lot of humility. If people didn’t work, how would they experience the struggle that has helped me form into who I am? What do they say about Idle Hands?

Then I started thinking about if I had my necessities met. Just my necessities. A place to live, food to eat, heating/cooling and electric, and health care for my children and me. What would I be doing? I would be home with my kids. I would be homeschooling them. I would have a chore chart. I would be maintaining a garden and teaching my kids with hands on lessons of cooking and animals and science experiments. I would still be working, but not as much. And the money I made from work would be invested in my kids, our home, and myself. The money would be used for house repairs, a vehicle, internet access, and travel. I would take another trip to do humanitarian work. I would take art classes. I would do more with theatre. I would read more. I would learn a language with my kids (they have been begging for us to all learn German as a family). I would help my kids learn what they love. What their gifts are. What their passion is.

Quick detour. Have you ever met someone and thought, how are you so successful? Like, they really have nothing to offer. Mediocre intelligence. Very limited world view. No talent. And yet, they are making over 10X what you make. I remember one guy in particular. He was always so impressed by how smart I seemed “considering I don’t have a degree.” He would tell me, “If you went to college, you could be way more successful. You have so much potential! It’s sad you’re working at a coffee shop when you could probably do my job better than me, ha!”

We all have different goals. My goal is not wealth. Rags to Riches stories, while interesting, don’t motivate me. While I appreciate my material things, they are disposable. I asked myself, if I had my needs met, what would be something I would work extra for in order to obtain? Travel. Art. Learning new things. Humanitarian work.

What if our needs were met. Just the basic ones. We would still have those who wanted to be rich. We would still have those who were lazy. We would still have to work. The difference is, we would be allowed to decide. If you wanted a huge house and lots if things, you could choose to work more. If you decide you would rather live modestly so you could be home with your kids, you could do that. But what about the freeloaders who wont work? Well. If they want that kind of poor, meaningless life, so be it. What does it matter to you? I mean, I’m not talking steak dinners and mansions. Food in the cupboard, a warm house, and freedom from/treatment for disease just means the rest of society is protected.

What would happen if those with actual talent could explore it? What would happen if all that “potential” could be met? What would happen if someone’s intelligence outweighed someone’s financial circumstance?

What would happen? We would thrive. Good parents would still instill work ethic in their children. Bad parents would still neglect it. Caring people would still want to help others. Selfish people would still take all they can get. The difference is, we would all have a choice. Ask a poor person if they have a choice right now. Ask them how many jobs they work and what they have to sacrifice so their kids don’t starve. Ask them about how expensive it is to be poor.

I am not against capitalism. I want our inventors to invent. I want our artists to create. I want every person to be able to listen to that gift they have and embrace it. We are all given certain passions inside of us. Animals. Children. Writing. Botany. Technology. Music. Cars. Every single person has something that pumps them up for life.

“The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before someone came along and told them they had to earn a living.”

How different things would be if we ran our Healthcare System and education system like a non-profit. If no one could get rich off the sick. If the poor had the same educational opportunities as the rich without having to join the military. If every family knew they had a house, electric, and food.

I can’t count the amount of times in my life I have said, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”. Then, when the time came in my life that I needed to practice what I preached, I reach down for my boot straps only to find that someone found a way to make money off boot straps and had hiked the price up to make money off of my struggle.

We have been taught that the poor deserve their lot in life. And that the rich deserve their wealth. Why? Because admitting that the poor don’t have a choice and that we’re allowing others to profit off their suffering is a hard pill to swallow. We have to admit that while we say all are equal, we have been conditioned to feel superior to the poor. We have been told our stability is earned by hard work and therefore the poor must be lazy. If we acknowledge how much of an advantage having our basic needs met makes, then we are faced a choice. Continue to treat the poor as inferior, or work for change and equality. The seeds have been planted. You decide if you will let them grow.

Welcome to Our Home

I love analogies. One of my favorites is viewing our country as a household. First off, the family/house you’re born into is completely by chance. We (Americans) were born into a wealthy family. Or adopted into it. We have running water, food, a place to sleep, and amenities. While other households (countries) may be lacking some or all of those things. Secondly, we all disagree with our other family members at some point. But having the “house rules” (Constitution) makes sure that everyone is heard, and no one is taken advantage of or treated unjustly. 

I’m not going to go into our relationship with our neighbors. Or exactly how our family started out here, since we know there was bloodshed.  I want to talk all but what’s going on right inside our house right now. Because I feel like people are so busy looking out the window that they’re not noticing what is happening to our family. 

I want to know. If your child told you they were being poisoned by the water in their bathroom, would you call a plumber and pay to fix it? If your child lost their job and couldn’t buy their own food, would you feed them? If your child couldn’t get to school, would you make sure they got there? If your child had strep throat, but couldn’t afford an antibiotic, would you pay the bill? Of course you would. They are your family. You know investing in your child is going to help set them up for success. Plus, it helps the rest of the family to have a child that can read, isn’t ill, and is thriving. 

Obviously, I’m saying that every American has a right to have their basic needs met. And don’t start this “you’re not entitled” bullshit. Yes we are. Being born (or adopted) into this family means we don’t have to (or shouldn’t have to) worry about basic human rights. 

Now what about the extras. If your child wants to play baseball, do you let them? Piano lessons? The Internet?  Remember, this isn’t about money in your household. Your house is rich. This is about whether you think a child should have to pay for the extra stuff, or if it should come out if the budget. One parent may say, “Yes! We’re able to give this kid experiences and privileges that others can’t have. I say we go for it.” While the other parent may say, “Absolutely not. I didn’t have those things when I grew up and I turned out fine. They will grow up spoiled if we don’t make them work for it.” So what’s the solution? We find a compromise. A budget. 

Now what if you have a kid that stealing food out of the pantry. They’re taking more than they need. They’re wasting. They’re selling the food to other kids in the house. Should you disallow all the he kids who can’t buy their own food from eating? No. Because you know who will be hurt? The ones that can’t work. The ones too young. The ones with disabilities. The ones who are struggling. 

Now, one of your neighbors is blowing something up. Threatening to blow up your house and your kids. And you notice that a few of your kids look a lot like this neighbor. You know they are your kids. They work, contribute, and are ready part of your family. But….they do look are really lot like those bad people. Do you kick them out? Do you tell them they are unwelcome? Or do you protect your child, because they are part if YOUR FAMILY. 

Our family. Our household. America. We need to stop acting like we are in competition with each other. There is no reason every American shouldn’t have every basic need met. Why does Flint still not have clean drinking water? Why is higher education considered a luxury? Why the hell can’t I drive down my road without fear of messing up my car because of the pot holes? Why are there people that have ongoing medical issues that are untreated because they can’t afford the bill? 

I am not saying every American needs a new ipad or should be issued a new car. I’m saying we need to stop sending our family to the neighbors house to fight with them and maybe fix our effing roof, make sure everyone’s getting food and water. Maybe we need to ask the ones that are making these decisions for our house why they are eating lobster and sitting in a warm room while there are people downstairs that are thirsty and cold. 

I will never understand why there is SO much fear involved in helping people. Always scared someone is going ro get something you’re not getting. They hold on to these stories of someone abusing the system, and clump EVERYONE who needs assistance under it. I have needed food, medical, childcare, and even cash assistance at one point or another in my adulthood. And I don’t feel bad about it. Because America is my family, and I had needs my children and I needed met. And I will be damned if someone is going to tell me that I am a leech off the system or make me feel guilty about it. 

You Taste so Sweet…er…Sour?

I tell my children that they should always retry foods they dislike. Because our taste buds change as we grow, and something we thought was gross, could actually taste great now, and we’d be missing out if we didn’t revisit it after some time. So Audrey now likes cucumbers. Nadia now dislikes mustard, and Genevieve likes ranch more than ketchup.

That being said, multiple times a week, I will get on my Facebook account and see a notification for a “like” from someone I forgot was on my friends list. Usually, my first thought is, “oh sweet, they didn’t hide me on their news feed”. I guess I just assume all those people I added years ago, that I attended high school with, worked with, etc, have no interest in my constant posts. The second thing I think, usually pertains to how I knew them, and what I was going through in my life at the time I knew them. Which, a lot of times, leads to some facebook creeping to see what they’re up to.

The other day, I got on and had one of these occurrences. In my, “reminiscent” moment, I had a brief, almost panicked, feeling come over me. Not because of who this person was, or any feelings I have or have had towards her. It was the realization of who I was during our time as friends, and the potential of her not having a very positive opinion of me. Just by sheer timing, this girl encountered me during one of the lowest points in my life. I’m sure a lot of our time spent together was filled with me struggling with hopelessness, depression, anxiety, and a general negative outlook on life. I will admit, I do not try to hide my emotions, even if negative, and my overly obsessive nature makes it impossible to think or talk about anything else when things in my life are so extreme. They consume my life in that respect. 

So why does it matter? Why would this moment inspire me to write about it? And what does it have to do with your taste buds? Well, I liked this girl. I enjoyed her company. I had even tried to invite her out to lunch on a few occasions, with the hopes she would become a close friends. I was denied access to the friendship. I was a bitter taste for her. Not only bitter, I would leave people with an after taste that would make most want to immediately find some mouthwash.  Again, this was purely out of timing in life. If this had been an established relationship, my pessimism would have been approached with the assumption I was in a temporary state. With a new person, how you originally meet them will most likely always be how you view as the “real” them.

Everyone knows how important first impressions are. But I believe we are skewed in what exactly that means. In some regards, it is exactly what we think it is. The very first time we see someone. But in most occurrences, that impression is changeable. It’s like we have set up an impression mulligan in life. “I really thought they were kind of bitchy the first time we met. But the next time I saw them they were great! They must have been having a bad day.” Bam. Opinion changed. First occurrence forgiven. New perception established and accepted. The second taste was a lot better than the first.

But first impressions are more than just those first couple times. If your life is a state of chaos, grief, anger, etc, that will now be your label from that person. It’s not their fault or yours. We all make assessments and judgements in the first stage of getting to know someone, and tend to hold on to it. We have to. It protects us from toxic people, and helps us learn and enjoy to sweet ones.

So, you meet someone who is a Debbie Downer, and you move on and decide that person is too negative for your life. The taste is too strong, overwhelming, or even bland. Good for you! That is a very positive thing to do for yourself. Now what if you encounter this person later in life, only this time, they are happy and cheerful? You will most likely be glad to see their doing well, but be skeptical on whether or not it is a “permanent” state. You may be more willing to associate with them, but you will be waiting for the “real” them to reappear eventually. Small tastes, but always remembering the acidity they left you with before.

Now take it on the other side of things. You meet this awesome, amazing, fun, happy person. Sweet and smooth. As time goes on, you find them in a low point. “You’ve changed! This is not the person you really are!” But what if it is? Some people ARE just miserable people. So we wait. And wait. And WAIT. For that fun loving person to come back to us, but that was not who they are. We put ourselves through bad taste after bad taste, just waiting for that moment it’s sweet again. And we may even have one or two times with hints of a more palatable version of them. But that doesn’t make them a rich dessert. That was a time in their life. Why do you think so many people hold on to failing relationships? We hold on to an ideal of who that person is, and then get mad at them for not maintaining it.

So, I’ve decided to try to let go of preconceived notions about others. Good or bad. And try to see the person for who they are. Because we do change. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad, and I could be missing out on a great friendship because of timing in life. Or on the other side of it, I could be holding on to a friendship that I don’t need in my life. Humans move through life in a constant state of change. We do not need to waste time and frustrations on holding on to what we think we know. Our palates may have changed on what we can handle. Or their “ingredients” of who they are may have changed or increased. That’s just life. So if I give someone another shot, and they still leave me with a bitter taste in my mouth, I will move on, and be open to trying again in the future. And if this person is a long time friend, then I will know and work with them to get their sweetness back. Because I know they would (or did) do the same for me.

So, happy eating all! Know your palate, and be ok if it changes. You’ll miss out in life if you’re holding on to what you experienced before, and don’t try what you may now love and enjoy.