Tag: government

Universally appalling topics should be unifying

I remember years ago asking, “what happened to Ashton Kutcher? Like, he was in SO MUCH stuff, and then just kind of disappeared. And someone told me, “well, he started working against child sex trafficking. So who in Hollywood is going to hire him?”

He and Demi started Thorn in 2012. I remember watching, and crying, to the video of him testifying to the Senate years later, and thinking “yeah right. Those politicians aren’t going to do anything. I bet they’re part of all that shit”.

I remember thinking Cory Feldman was crazy and it was his years of drug abuse that made him a nut ball. And then I read an interview about the Hollywood child sex ring. This poor man has been screaming and begging for help for decades. And no one listened.

I see posts about it all up and down my newsfeed about child trafficking. Which, I’m glad to see people wanting the truth exposed and an end to it. Amazing. Exactly what needs to happen. Shedding light on this topic is how we end it. But something about some of the posts I’ve seen has been not been sitting right with me. I’ve been trying to figure out what it is.

It’s because, while I was asking if people thought Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell’s deaths were because of exposing child abuse, people laughed at me and called me a conspiracy theorist. It’s because when I stood with #metoo, people rolled their eyes and said the movement was just people feeling “triggered”. Because when I brought up the rape allegations of Trump in 2016, people laughed and told me told me they were just lies. It because I asked why there were kids in cages, and how our government could LOSE thousands of children, people ignored, downplayed, or redirected the subject. And now? There are a bunch of people that keep bringing up this horrid thing as A COMPARISON OF horrific things, to dismiss BLM and Covid19.

I want every single pedophile found out. All of them. Every politician. Every star. Every single person who has hurt a child. ALL OF THEM. I am thankful for every victim that has come forward. For every star willing to sacrifice their careers to fight against it. So what about these memes is sitting with me wrong? It is sitting with me wrong because people are attaching a political agenda to their memes and posts.

I am glad you all are appalled about child trafficking. Because we need people to be appalled. We need people to fight for justice for every child that has been hurt. But if you are using all of this as a way to downplay another issue, then you’re USING it, not HELPING it.

If your meme says anything like, “people are talking about *insert topic* while there’s a child sex ring going on. But that’s none of my business” or whatever, you stop that shit. Yes it’s great you are now learning about stuff. But quit using false equivalence to push whatever agenda you’re pushing. You can be appalled about many topics at once.

Pedophiles are evil. We all agree on that. So quit attaching something we ALL AGREE needs to be exposed and fixed, to something unrelated. If your post is about downplaying a topic, and not about promoting the stop of trafficking, then it’s divisive and it’s distracting from the the problem we all want solved.

Stop that shit. I have spent the better part of a decade standing against this. And I’m sick of people using it to create division. This should be the most unifying thing we ever stand against.

Some people are more equal than others.

Ideas are like seeds being planted in your mind. We don’t always have control of the seeds that are throw to us, but we do have control of the soil. In this way, we get to decide how our garden will grow. Manicured and simple. Full of poison and thorns. Wild and unknown. A labyrinth. Filled with food. We decide based on what we pull out and what we nurture. How much effort we’re willing to put in and the people we put ourselves around, who are throwing seeds. How acidic the soil is, and what trees we have growing from the past. Try as you might, the soil below a large pine will not allow you to grow certain plants below it.

A couple weeks ago I saw a post on Facebook. My Facebook is pretty diverse when it comes to religion, politics, and life choices. So very often I see things I don’t agree with. So that was no surprise. What has surprised me is how much I keep thinking about it. See, I have been spending a lot of time lately pulling weeds. Uprooting trees. I have been working on my soil to help things grow. That seed that was planted? That seed has been thrown on my soil before. But it dried up. So when I saw it thrown my direction again, I anticipated the same result. But my soil isn’t the same. My soil is rich with nutrients. And that seed took root and is growing. So now I’m forced to acknowledge this plant growing. I have to decide whether to pull it up or water it.

“We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living….” Buckminster Fuller

The post I read was the full quote. But within the first sentence I knew I disagreed. I’m a hard worker, and I was raised to take pride in my work. You don’t work you don’t eat. The story of The Ant and the Grasshopper made a brief appearance in my mind. You cannot live your life playing and then expect those working to support you. Teaching a man to fish verses giving him a fish.

“We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery. Because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist.”

Justify his right to exist? I wouldn’t go that far. And we may invent some jobs, but I would say we Americans spend more time creating more “all ready invented” jobs. During our last election this was a huge thing. With the worry of unemployment and layoffs, I heard a LOT of people talking about job creation. There aren’t enough jobs and people need to work to support their families.

I also thought about work ethic. Working a less-than-desirable job definitely gives you appreciation for hard work and a lot of humility. If people didn’t work, how would they experience the struggle that has helped me form into who I am? What do they say about Idle Hands?

Then I started thinking about if I had my necessities met. Just my necessities. A place to live, food to eat, heating/cooling and electric, and health care for my children and me. What would I be doing? I would be home with my kids. I would be homeschooling them. I would have a chore chart. I would be maintaining a garden and teaching my kids with hands on lessons of cooking and animals and science experiments. I would still be working, but not as much. And the money I made from work would be invested in my kids, our home, and myself. The money would be used for house repairs, a vehicle, internet access, and travel. I would take another trip to do humanitarian work. I would take art classes. I would do more with theatre. I would read more. I would learn a language with my kids (they have been begging for us to all learn German as a family). I would help my kids learn what they love. What their gifts are. What their passion is.

Quick detour. Have you ever met someone and thought, how are you so successful? Like, they really have nothing to offer. Mediocre intelligence. Very limited world view. No talent. And yet, they are making over 10X what you make. I remember one guy in particular. He was always so impressed by how smart I seemed “considering I don’t have a degree.” He would tell me, “If you went to college, you could be way more successful. You have so much potential! It’s sad you’re working at a coffee shop when you could probably do my job better than me, ha!”

We all have different goals. My goal is not wealth. Rags to Riches stories, while interesting, don’t motivate me. While I appreciate my material things, they are disposable. I asked myself, if I had my needs met, what would be something I would work extra for in order to obtain? Travel. Art. Learning new things. Humanitarian work.

What if our needs were met. Just the basic ones. We would still have those who wanted to be rich. We would still have those who were lazy. We would still have to work. The difference is, we would be allowed to decide. If you wanted a huge house and lots if things, you could choose to work more. If you decide you would rather live modestly so you could be home with your kids, you could do that. But what about the freeloaders who wont work? Well. If they want that kind of poor, meaningless life, so be it. What does it matter to you? I mean, I’m not talking steak dinners and mansions. Food in the cupboard, a warm house, and freedom from/treatment for disease just means the rest of society is protected.

What would happen if those with actual talent could explore it? What would happen if all that “potential” could be met? What would happen if someone’s intelligence outweighed someone’s financial circumstance?

What would happen? We would thrive. Good parents would still instill work ethic in their children. Bad parents would still neglect it. Caring people would still want to help others. Selfish people would still take all they can get. The difference is, we would all have a choice. Ask a poor person if they have a choice right now. Ask them how many jobs they work and what they have to sacrifice so their kids don’t starve. Ask them about how expensive it is to be poor.

I am not against capitalism. I want our inventors to invent. I want our artists to create. I want every person to be able to listen to that gift they have and embrace it. We are all given certain passions inside of us. Animals. Children. Writing. Botany. Technology. Music. Cars. Every single person has something that pumps them up for life.

“The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before someone came along and told them they had to earn a living.”

How different things would be if we ran our Healthcare System and education system like a non-profit. If no one could get rich off the sick. If the poor had the same educational opportunities as the rich without having to join the military. If every family knew they had a house, electric, and food.

I can’t count the amount of times in my life I have said, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”. Then, when the time came in my life that I needed to practice what I preached, I reach down for my boot straps only to find that someone found a way to make money off boot straps and had hiked the price up to make money off of my struggle.

We have been taught that the poor deserve their lot in life. And that the rich deserve their wealth. Why? Because admitting that the poor don’t have a choice and that we’re allowing others to profit off their suffering is a hard pill to swallow. We have to admit that while we say all are equal, we have been conditioned to feel superior to the poor. We have been told our stability is earned by hard work and therefore the poor must be lazy. If we acknowledge how much of an advantage having our basic needs met makes, then we are faced a choice. Continue to treat the poor as inferior, or work for change and equality. The seeds have been planted. You decide if you will let them grow.

Ignorance is Bliss…er…Business 

“No body owes you anything. If you want something, work for it.” 

I agree with this. If you’re waiting for someone to rescue you, or wanting to just relax your way through life, you’re going to be thoroughly disappointed. 

That being said, I’m not heartless. Sometimes things happen and we Americans have the ability (and in my opinion, the duty) to help someone. A lot of times, I hear fear about allowing too much welfare help. The fear being that those on welfare will become content in their lifestyle and leech off of the hard working Americans (middle class) while having no intent to ever rise above. 

So here are a few scenarios I think most people can support or relate to. (Read and answer to yourselves. I could be wrong!)
Scott has 3 children. He has custody of all 3. He works 2 jobs trying to make enough to support them, but needs some help with childcare because it is so expensive.

Should there be a program to help him? 

Chad has 2 kids he has custody of. He’s been employed at the same job for 3 years, but due to some cuts at the company he works for, his hours were cut in half. He is looking for a second job, but needs to be able to feed his kids. 

Should Chad get food assistance? 

Brett’s wife of 15 years, Mary, makes 65K a year. Brett has spent the last 8 years staying home with their 3 kids and taking care of the household. He finds out Mary has been cheating and she wants a divorce. 

Should Mary pay spousal support as well as child support? Should Brett qualify for government assistance until he can find a job?

Larry, husband and father, has been working at the same company for 20 years. He recently was laid off and is having a difficult time finding a job. 

Should Larry get unemployment? Should he qualify for food assistance and Medicaid? 

Steve had an injury which caused him to lose his job. He is well now, and wanting to get back into the job market. The problem is, he has no phone or internet and cannot afford the bill for either until he gets a job. He can use the internet at his local library, but wants to have a phone number to leave on his applications. 

Should we help Steve get a phone? 

Todd’s wife, Amanda, died unexpectedly. They were young, so their life insurance policy only covered funeral expenses. Without her income, Todd cannot afford their mortgage. He soon finds the house will be foreclosed. He has 2 small children and needs to find a place to live while he adjusts to his new life as a single dad. 

Should there be housing help for him? 

Those sound like good men. Trying to support their kids. Trying to contribute to society. I think most would say that it would be an investment to help these guys out. 

Now. Sub in the name Trevon and/or Ladonna. Seriously. Scroll up and reread them with only the name change. This isn’t going to work if you don’t.

I’m not in your head. You are. So be honest with yourself. Where do you imagine they work? Did the company/line of work they were in change from the first time you read it? Do you believe they are contributing to society? Do you assume the kids have different mothers/fathers? Do you assume they have no desire to strive for a better life? Do you feel like they are leeching? Is your gut response to withhold help? Do you feel it’s a waste of tax dollars?

When you hear people talk about racism, THIS is what we’re talking about. This is white male privilege. That purely being a white male means that people will initially assume the best. You are worth investing in. 

You are not against welfare. You are against minorities receiving help from government programs. You have been conditioned your entire life to have these knee jerk responses. I have them too. I have to CONSCIOUSLY decide to not feed into them. 
Years ago I had a conversation about a woman and that was the moment I realized my white privilege. 

Her: She has 3 kids with 2 different guys. But That’s how they do it in Benton Harbor. They have kids with whoever just so they can get the benefits.

Me: Oh. You mean like me? I’m from Benton Harbor. I have 3 kids by 2 different guys. Heck, my youngest’s dad is married. And I get food stamps. 

Her: No no no. Thats not what I meant. You’re a hard worker! You made a mistake. You’re doing what’s best for your kids! You are am amazing mother. It’s temporary for you! 

Me: And why isn’t it temporary for her? What makes her a lost cause?

Her: No. You’re misunderstanding. I know you’re a good person. But she is from a culture that encourages living off hard working Americans. 

Me: So if you didn’t know me, you would assume the same thing as you are with her? That I was lazy and lookimg for free stuff by having kids?

Her: No no no. That’s not what I’m saying. I can tell you’re a hard worker! You do anything for your kids. You are using the welfare system for what it was set up for, to get yourself on your feet again! 

Me: And I’m white. 

Her: *uncomfortable* 

Me: She’s black. 

Her: I’m not racist. It’s a cultural thing. That’s just how they live in Benton Harbor. 

No. That is racism.  That poor woman has to work 10X as hard as me in life. She will be assumed to be lazy, and a leech everywhere she goes. You will sit there and make mental (or verbal) judgements on whether or not you believe she is worthy of help. She will have to pay the same taxes as you. She will have to work the same amount of hours as you. But you will know, that you are more deserving of every break you get in life. And your attitude toward her is just a form of “tough love”. Her hard work doesn’t count because her culture encourages laziness. That has to be what it is. 

You will talk to others like you, and set imaginary goals for this woman. “If she really cared about her kids, she would get a degree.” But offer no way for her to obtain a defree. “She should get an additional job. If she put her nose to the grindstone, she could rise above.” But condemn her for leaving her children or for asking for a raise. Any hardship she has is deserved. You are punishing her for not being a white man like you. 

Are you really against food assistance? Or are you against the woman who “obviously” just having babies to live off the state. Are you against housing help, or are you against the black guy who probably just works at a fast food place part time and should just work harder if he wants a place to live. 

You Are not against welfare. If you were in any of these positions, you would feel completely justified in using government assistance “for it’s intended purpose”. To get back on your feet. But if it’s a minority, you are immediately skeptical on their motives. Ask yourself WHY. Why do you feel you need or are entitled to an explanation for anyone’s reasons? Why do you feel you get to be a judge on whether someone deserves to eat or have medical care? 

And just throwing this out there. “Getting back on your feet” is not the intended purpose of the welfare system. The intended purpose is to make sure that the lowest income people in our country have their basic needs met. It’s to have a lower class that is fed, housed, and medically well. The basics. Because some cannot rise above some imaginary line you’ve drawn in your head to indicate success. Some will always work sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, or serving fast food. And they should still have heat. And their kids deserve to have full stomachs. The value of a life is not determined by annual income. 

You have been lied to. You have been told your whole life that you are superior and deserve what you have because you  a hard worker and they are not. So who is telling you these lies? I’ll give you a hint. It’s not the lower class…and it’s not the middle class…you guessed it! The top 1%. They want you to be mad at those who “leech off the system” so you don’t notice them…leeching off the system. Does a black man, who works at a grocery store, getting $1500 worth of food  a year piss you off? What about a white man getting a $30mil tax break? Smart businessman?

Do not tell me that racism doesn’t exist. Say what you really mean. I don’t care that racism exists because it benefits me. Don’t tell me you don’t see color. Say what you mean. I don’t want to acknowledge others are treated differently because then I have to change my internal dialogue. Don’t tell me you care about the poor. Say what you mean. They are poor because they deserve it.