As someone with very predominant ADHD, I have gone through many different levels of support, embarrassment, motivation, and discouragement. Much self assessment on the “why” of who I am has lead me to learn, it doesn’t fricking matter. While I sit and rationalize what it could all mean, and where this (gift?) could take me, the rest of the world carries on without me.
That being said, my favorite explanation for ADHD is that humans are evolving and it’s actually a superpower. At first, I felt this was a total bullshit answer, because superpowers are helpful, and I can’t imagine a world where everyone is distracted, forgetful, and never finishes what they start. Sounds more like a disability to me.
Then I was sitting one night, twisting wire into a car. (I like to make wire art) and I was thinking about this book I started writing. I should finish that….and that screenplay….I worked so hard on the character development and story line….but never finished it. And I should make some videos on YouTube again. That was fun. And I wonder if I made up a syllabus if I could find a school to let me have an improv clinic. Oh! I bet I could teach wire art! I wonder if I need to be certified to do that. I should take a drawing class. I want to draw that conflicted lady I started and didn’t finish. I wonder if I could find someone to be in a band with me. I have my bass, and I would love to perform again….
The one thing I noticed was, while I have a million ideas and visions, I am disorganized and lack time and money. I need a personal assistant. Then I started thinking about what life would be like if I had someone to snap me back to reality. To stay with me and keep me moving from task to task until completed. Do you know how fricking unstoppable I would be?? Seriously. I am 100% confident I could not only finish these things, I could excel and dominant them.
I AM a superhero! I just don’t have a sidekick. Or an Alfred is more like it. So I just went all Elsa on this shit and let it go! Sounds corny, but I totally get that movie. And I cried a bit during that song. Feeling trapped by something, and never having the freedom to let all of it out DOES make you feel as if it’s a curse. I need to be where I can let myself shine. Because I guarantee I can amaze the world.
Unfortunately, I’m poor and a mom. Hahaha. So I am on hold until further notice. Unless someone out there wants to make me nutty rich or volunteer to be my personal assistant. Then, I’ll get right on that. Until then, I’m going to let these ideas and passions rumble around in my brain, and hopefully a few can escape now and then 😉
thatbethy 